Saturday, September 27, 2008

Welcome to The Funny...Laughter Anyone???

I've now come up for air, crawled back up from my deepness and I'm ready for this helium-filled post.

Laughter anyone? Goofiness? Unabashed bust-a-gut-ness?

Ok, these will be my random musings. Hold on tight. Here we go.


My favorite jokes, ever:
(they're my favorite because I suck at remembering jokes, and they are the only two stinkin' jokes I can remember)

#1 How do you catch a polar bear?
Cut a hole in the ice and line it with green peas. When he goes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole.


#2 What kind of bees carry milk?
Boo-bees

Is that a chuckle I hear? A light snicker? Good. Keep going...

My favorite funny kid moment:
My then, two year old son woke up from his nap, buck naked, and when I walked into his room he had his little pudgy hand held out. Sitting in his hand were small brown marbles and he said, "Here, Mom, hold my poop." I'm laughing right now as I type. And yes, it really was his poop. Ahhh, motherhood.

Come on, admit it, poop is funny. Even the word is funny. Go on, say it out loud. Do it. Come on, just say it. Poop.

My favorite, 'me being an idiot' moment:
I'm 19 and I'm with my cousin, Susan, and we decide to go to a party where we only know one guy. It's a small house party and we feel out of place immediately. We walk through the kitchen where some game is taking place at the kitchen table, slide open the sliding glass door and walk through into the porch where we sit for a few minutes feeling like outsiders.

We quickly make a decision to leave and jump up to walk out, via the route we just came in. I, being the goofy dumb ass that I am, go first and walk directly into the now-closed sliding glass door. I'm talking full body slam. I smacked my face hard enough to leave a perfect lipstick mark on the glass.

The kids on the other side of said sliding glass door, at that kitchen table, sat stunned for a split second and then literally fell out of their chairs laughing. Out of their chairs.

I rubbed my forehead, feeling the enormous lump forming and tried to laugh it off. Ha ha ha. That was so funny.

Yeah, it was funny. I'm laughing right now, remembering it, laughing hard. Funny.


Funniest piece of clothing, ever...forever deemed, The Christmas Sweater:


My mom, who seriously is a stunningly beautiful fashionista (I'm not being cheeky here, I mean it), gave my brother-in-law a sweater for Christmas.

The funniest, most hideously ugly, sweater ever.

At first we all thought it was a joke.



We snickered...choked on our Christmas cocoa...tear-wiping snickering.

She got sooooooo mad at us.




I decided to make it crystal clear just how fashion-wrong-o this sweater was and came downstairs in this getup...

She understood.

The sweater has taken on a life of its own. It has been photographed on nearly 100 people and has traveled the world...Australia, Scotland, Ireland. And it is so not done.


I hope you've enjoyed the funny. Laughing is my favorite thing to do, besides stepping on the scale and seeing a low number or eating a guilt-free, filled with goodness, ice cream sundae or, or, or...

Hope you have a happy, funny day. Feel free to share any funny you may have hidden away. I love a good laugh.