Saturday, March 7, 2009

I Need A Good Brainwashing

My brain is filthy dirty.

No, I don't mean that kind of dirty. I'm a good Catholic School girl, geesh. But, my brain is splattered with negative thoughts about working out. Oh, I may go so far as to say my brain is covered in those thoughts. Saturated through and through.

I've been getting Shape magazine in the mail lately and each month a new 40 + actress adorns the cover with her bikini top and teeny tiny shorts. Debra Messing, Brooke Shields and this month, Julia Louis Dryfus. They look fit and fantastic and oh so happy.

I don't know why I have such a mental loathing towards working out. I mean, I really like yoga...but I don't practice anymore. Love to use the time excuse - I've mastered it. I also like lifting weights. Don't do that either. I'm telling you, my brain is stained with bad, "I hate working out" thoughts.

I seriously need to be brainwashed. A good old fashioned scrubbing by some portly woman who has huge hands and a wire brush. She and her huge metal tub of hot soapy water could wash away my bad thinking.

Who knows, we could work out together afterwards. Just think, she'd get all thin and fit and then end up on the cover of Shape...headline: Working Class Women Who Look Fabulous

Crap.